Posted by: mysaintjohn | August 27, 2009



Today I tried to improve my karma and failed miserably. (At least, I assume I failed. I suppose I’ll have to wait and see if I come back as some sort of roach before I know for sure).

A grasshopper had somehow made it into our office and was hanging around on the mat inside the door. This should have been my first clue: the damned bug was suicidal.

I ran to the kitchen and got a styrofoam coffee cup and a sheet of copy paper. With coworkers looking at me all askew, I hunkered down and put the cup over the grasshopper.

The grasshopper really didn’t like this. It bashed it’s poor little grasshopper brain into the cup over and over again as I made a mad dash outside to the nearest patch of grass. Desperate to stop the head bashing, I tossed the grasshopper out of the cup. It landed on its side and made a few pathetic twitching motions.

Horrified, I ran back to the office crying “I killed it! I killed it!”. My karma was ruined and I confirmed my coworkers suspicions that I’m a complete loon.


  1. I’m going to go with “It’s the thought that counts” here. 🙂

    • And I maintain that it would have died a horrible, squishy death if it had stayed where it was.

  2. You made me smile. But then again, it might’ve not been appropriate considering your grief, so sorry.

    • Oh admit it. If we still worked in the same office, you woudl have stood there and laughed at me. :p

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