Posted by: mysaintjohn | July 7, 2009

In which our heroine finds garbage she can identify with…

resolutions

See that round(ish) purple thing? That’s a stability ball. This one looks like it’s been put out to pasture. Poor thing, a little duct tape and it would probably be just fine. I can’t help but wonder: has the ball been tossed because it was in such a lumpy state or was it simply one of those exercise products purchased and never used – the kind that makes you twitch with guilt whenever you open the closet door.

I feel like the woman on the trendy (and somewhat obnoxious) bag on the right is mocking the ball and it’s owner. “Ha!” she seems to say. “No matter how many crunches and wall squats you do, you’ll never look like me. Best just to give up. Quitter.”

As I write this, I feel the weight of a dozen exercise DVDs, a plastic aerobic step, and a yearly (and unused) gym membership weighing on my conscience. Fortunately these things are being drowned out by the siren’ call of Doritos and a Nick Hornby book.

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