On Prince William (the street, not the heir):

“I’m sorry. I was staring at your ass and not listening.”

In Wal-Mart:

“If you had listened to me three months ago we wouldn’t be looking for the fucking maternity clothes.”

–Random Question–

Have you ever noticed that some of the pigeons in Saint John look like they have rabies? If Stephen King had lived in Saint John, Cujo would have been a pigeon.

This is the first year, since moving to Saint John, that I’ve not had utilities included in my rent.

Last month, when I got my power bill, I made this face and demanded a lolipop.

Have you ever noticed how scraps of conversation are more interesting than hearing the entire thing from beginning to end? With scraps, you’re free to fill in the blanks.

Alright, so New York has Sex and the City tours why can’t we have a Children of a Lesser God tour?

Think about it! We could stand outside the cruise ship terminal with a little bus and charge tourist $40 a head to see…

What would they see?

Rothesay Netherwood School and a bar where William Hurt used the loo?

Not very glamorous. This idea requires more thought.

In the meantime, why not watch Siskel and Ebert argue over the movie:

“I was thinking of getting a picture of Santa.”
“Which Santa?”
“The one in the mall.”
“They charge for those pictures. You can’t just go up and take one.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, like five bucks.”
“I can’t afford that. I’ll just get a beard and hat.”
“I’m pretty sure that’ll cost more than five bucks.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Fine. I’ll rent a suit. They rent them, don’t they?”

It’s time to count your pennies, eat your hamburger helper, and dissect Twilight: New Moon.

Overheard in Tim Hortons: “Your mom works Uptown so you know she makes at least a hundred thousand.”

This is clearly a different Uptown than I’ve been working in.

Overheard in the Pedway: “I believe we have to gun it. My mother is, just now, serving the Hamburger Helper and we have just over 4km to cover.”

This boy spoke like a seventy year old man. His unsure emphasis on “gun” was priceless. Maybe it was a seventy year old man in an 18 Again/Like Father Like Son/Vice Versa/Freaky Friday (that’s 17 Again to you Zac Ephron-loving youngsters) situation.

Overheard in the Brunswick Square food-court: “Bella is a completely weak Mary Sue-ish character who is only content when an alpha male is on the scene to make her feel protected and to restrict her. She’s ridiculous.”

The best part? This statement came from a BOY. Now if only he could have convinced the girl he was with and then, you know, all the teenage Twilight reading girls in the city.